Don't Fall
by xheartxcorex
Summary: post episode 8 'Effy'. The most beautiful are often the most broken. Cook/Effy Cook and Effy run away from everything, but they can't run away from the truth, or each other. r & r
1. Chapter 1 Keep the secret

_Here is a new story that I had an idea for. I should probably be finishing my epic story Stockholm syndrome before i start another one, but this would not leave me alone XD so here it is.  
Im not sure how long it'll be, we shall know in time.  
this is a Cook/Effy fic._

_If you thoroughly dislike that pairing, perhaps this isnt the best story for you.  
This is set after Episode eight of season three._

_I have never written anything like this before....... and i once swore that i never would because i hate these type of fics. I can't say what type of fics without giving it away.  
But you shall see soon enough.  
Anyway I hope you all enjoy it.  
it was actually incredibly hard to write. Cook and Effy are pretty damn complex characters _

_Disclaimer : I do not own Skins, neither do I own the characters of James Cook and Effy Stonem, I don't own Jack and Kaya either, though sometimes I wish I did XD  
this is mainly come from my twisted imagination._

_

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**_DON'T FALL _**

**_chapter one - keep it secret. _**

_The beautiful are often the most broken..... _

His eyelids were heavy; he supposed that it probably would have been a good idea to stop at that motel that they had passed before. He could barely keep his focus on the road in front of him. The lights of the passing streetlights and the cars blurred together to form mixes of colours.  
Cook looked over at the girl in the seat next to him. She was fast asleep, again.  
They had barely said anything to each other since they left. He still couldn't actually believe that they were leaving, and that Effy of all people was right next to him.  
Fuck it; if he was going to be excluded from those bunch of tossers then there was nobody else he'd rather be with than someone else who had been excluded from those bunch of tossers.  
Sighing, Cook decided it would probably be best to pull over, the side of the road would have to do, he would not be able to keep his eyes open for much longer and he didn't fancy sending himself and Effy through their windshield.

Leaning back in his seat, he turned his head to face her, he had watched her sleep before, in those rare occasions when they'd fall asleep together, limbs tangled up and sated smiles plastered on their faces.  
But this was different; Cook did not think that he could ever remember a time that Effy had looked so young.  
Her face, doll-like and innocent and completely vulnerable in her slumber. It was strange to see her like that. Cook frowned as he looked at her, it was as if her shields were down, her walls were broken as she slept here in front of him. There was no Effy smirk on her face, that smirk that had you thinking that you really had no idea what she was thinking. There was no mystique air about Effy there, none of that sexy enigma that people saw. To Cook's surprise, as he looked at her, sleeping peacefully, almost. He couldn't help but smile a little. She had never looked as beautiful to him, never looked as perfect, she had never looked as right to him as she did there.

His heart ached. The little smile disappeared. She didn't love him. He knew it. It hurt him, this girl, this incredible, wrong and broken girl who he loved, who he fucking loved, and she didn't love him. Freddie saw her first, Freddie loved her first and Effy loved him back. He was just scraps, the piece of shit that she bumped uglies with because it was a way to feel something.  
Maybe it was karma or some kind of 'what comes around' shite, pay back perhaps? After all those years of being such a selfish prick, he got his own. The one girl, who he saw, actually saw and he was nothing to her. He was just the person she always came back to.  
He'd take what he could get.

But here she was with him. He reached out and brushed a stray strand of hair from her face, letting his fingers brush against the softness of her cheek. Her skin was warm and inviting, yet a lot of the time she was harsh and cold and yet he still couldn't get enough of her.

He fell asleep that night, staring at her sleeping face.

Xxxxxx

Effy felt her eyes flutter open, her vision was still blurry with sleep and she could barely make out where she was. She couldn't think, the only thing she felt was the sensation of being water logged, her brain not fitting inside her skull and her throat, dry and scratchy.  
Slowly, her vision returned and she looked around the parked car. They were on the side of the road, the car under the shade of overhanging trees.  
Her bloodshot eyes wondered towards the boy sitting beside her, his eyes closed, his lips slightly parted and his chest rising and falling slowly with each breath.  
She watched him sleep before, after their encounters, sometimes he'd collapse and he'd fall into slumber and she'd just watch. Either that or pretend that she was asleep while he watched her.

She watched him then and felt her heart ache. She didn't love him. She knew that he knew it. Yet she still kept coming back to him and he let her. She still kept playing both him and Freddie against each other. She was destroying them. She both loved and hated the fact that she had the power to do that to these boys. This boy, in front of her, she saw clearly, he was hidden and broken and she couldn't understand how nobody could see it.  
He didn't give a fuck about anything….? Bullshit. He cared, she knew he did even if he did pretend that he didn't. Effy watched him more, he was a dick. Yes. He was selfish. Yes. He was wild. Yes. He loved her…. Yes. Yet she couldn't love him. Not the way she loved Freddie. She felt bile rise in her throat.

Freddie…. He who seemed to have the power to make Effy Stonem feel like pure shit.  
She bashed Katie over the head with a rock and left her alone in the woods.  
She could have died…..

Freddie knew how to cut her where it hurt, knew just the right way to look at her to make her feel like she wasn't worth anything. He made her want to turn away from him in shame; he made her go back to Cook, where she didn't want to be because in the end she'd end up hurting him too. In the beginning she thought that it would be Freddie's heart that she would break, yet in some twisted form of irony, as time went on she knew she was going to break Cook's.

Yet, she couldn't stop.

Pretty Cook, she thought, her eyes running over his face, he looked like a little boy and it made her feel guilty. But she couldn't and she wouldn't stop. She was Effy, and she'd use him…Abuse him probably and keep him coming back for more. Because he loved her, or he thought he did. She'd ruined everything. Things had changed now.  
She wished she'd had been more careful. She wished that she'd used her brains before she'd started this game.

Cook's eyes opened and he yawned.  
"Morning, peachy…. "He drawled.

"Morning, Slugger" she whispered, her tone the same usual bored tone.

There was silence. "Where are we going?" she asked.

Cook shrugged again, "Don't know, anywhere….it doesn't matter".

Effy sighed and shook her head. Typical Cook. "Right, so it's not about the destination is it... it's about the journey?" she asked raising her eyebrows.

Cook chuckled "That's right. Who gives a toss about where we're going… we're going somewhere... We'll know when we get there!"

There was more silence….. Effy unable and perhaps unwilling to talk anymore.

"Why did you call me….?"

Effy looked back at him, his voice serious, rare for James Cook.

She shrugged "I don't know… because you'd come"

He stared at her. She turned away quickly.  
Her stomach churned, she twisted around in her seat, his gaze made her sick to the stomach. Because she saw so much in those eyes. Her heart hammered away in her chest, the world was spinning…. Always spinning.

I'll always come for you, his eyes said…

She barely had time to think; opening the door she stumbled her way out of the car and retched into the bush.  
Her throat burned with the stomach acid and the tangy taste of bile in her mouth made her stomach heave.

Her legs trembled and she clutched at the bark of a nearby tree to steady herself, she clutched so hard she felt the wood cut into her hand.  
She was going to pass out….

Then someone's arms were around her, hands gently holding her hair back from her face as she continued to be sick, arms holding her up and keeping her from collapsing to the ground in a heap.

The next thing she knew she was sitting on the ground, the dirt itching her legs and the branches that had fallen from the tree's sticking in her legs at odd angles.  
Cook sat beside her, there was no talking, and he simply sat. They both did, Effy continued to stare at the emptied contents of her insides, and she didn't particularly want to look at Cook. She was disgusted with herself, and to her horror, embarrassed that Cook had seen her like that. She should have guessed this would happen eventually though.

"Uh, you okay?" he asked his voice sounding a little unsure.  
"Do you think it's possible to turn inside out?" she mumbled half to herself, half in answer to his question.

He chuckled "Well, with the sounds that you were making there I wouldn't be half surprised".

"So Eff, you gonna tell me what that's all about?

"No" she answered simply.

He didn't bring it up again.


	2. Chapter 2 Ignorance is bliss

_Here is another chapter, because I wanted to get the big secret out.  
so enjoy enjoy enjoy.  
_

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**Don't Fall  
chapter two - ignorance is bliss**

They were in a shitty town.  
Effy couldn't help but grimace at the small and dilapidated buildings that surrounded her.  
Another crappy hole in the middle of nowhere.  
They had arrived in the town that morning, slowly driving through the roads, slightly off-putting looks from residents and that strange smell you got whenever you went somewhere new.  
The city-no you couldn't even call it that. The small... tiny town they were in, it was enough to make her mad. Effy was thankful that they would not be staying here for long, any longer than necessary. They just needed to relax and sleep for a night. They would leave tomorrow. As to where they would end up, she didn't know.

Every time she asked the question Cook's reaction was the same, it was though he was putting off something, he would never tell what it was, and she figured that he'd probably tell her when they got there.

This town in particular though had both her and Cook slightly off- putted.

His hands wrapped around hers, they walked around the small town. It had been a week since they had left their home, run away from everything and everyone.  
They spent their time wandering around slightly aimlessly, without any particular cause, sleeping on each other, sneaking into clubs, sometimes they'd talk.  
It was weird, mainly for her. They had talked before, weird conversations post coital and all that shit. But sometimes now Effy would feel compelled to just open her mouth and say words.  
They often didn't make sense or mean anything in particular, random philosophical ramblings on her part, sharing a little piece of how she saw the world with the only other person she had.  
Sometimes Cook would talk back, he'd say words of his own, useless words that made sense sometimes and other times that were nonsense. Sometimes he'd laugh, that loud obnoxious laugh that would grate on people's nerves. She'd frown at first, until she'd understand why he was laughing and she'd see what was so funny. She'd snort, nothing elegant about the bubbling feeling in her chest waiting to break free.  
They'd both lay there, their bodies trembling with laughter.  
Effy and Cook, they laughed at the world.

Sometimes Cook was quiet, he wouldn't say anything, and he'd just listen. Perhaps not really hearing what she was saying at all, maybe just listening to the tone of her voice. She didn't mind. Sometimes she didn't listen to him either, sometimes when he was in a particular chatty mood, he'd talk and talk about things that Effy couldn't care less about, she'd grown used to the tone of his voice, the way he talked, it was soothing, and it was comfort.

They hadn't brought up _them_ since they had left. That was a topic of conversation that they both knew was definitely off limits, the people they left behind.  
'Sod them, Fuckers' Cook would say.  
'We'll be alright, you and me, on our own, we've done alright this far'.

They had called Anthea, must to Effy's dismay, for some reason Cook had made her call her mother. Said it wasn't right just to leave her worried and wondering if she was okay. That the fact that she still had someone that even cared was enough to warrant at least one phone call.  
She had never heard him sound so smart… or serious.  
Effy called her from a public phone box at a gas station. She didn't say a lot, neither did her mother. The conversation was short, but not at all simple, there were so many things left unsaid.

"_Effy, where are you?!" her mum's voice was worried, she could tell. _

"_It doesn't matter"._

"Of course it matters, please just tell me where you are"

_Silence... _her dear friend.  
"_Are you alright?" she asked._

"I'm alright."

"Please, come home" her voice was desperate and for a second Effy actually considered it.

"I can't" she whispered.

She heard her mother sigh on the other end of the phone as if she had expected that answer.  
"You're with Cook?" she asked.

"Yes"

"_Just.... take care of each other" _

"_We will" Effy whispered.  
_

"_I love you" _

_She closed her eyes "I know". _

_Effy didn't bother to say any further goodbyes. _

Here they were, walking around. The cold was chilling their skin. It was so cold out in fact that their skin was ice-cold, and there was a fog that surrounded the small town. Effy buried herself further into the warmth of the leather Jacket, leaning against the warmth of the body at her side.

She supposed they looked like a strange couple, the town's onlookers watching them with odd expressions of curiosity at the boy and girl walking down the foggy road like they owned the place.  
Matching smirks marring their pretty faces.

They saw the looks.  
The revelled in them.

"What a shithole, it'll have to do for tonight, we'll leave tomorrow" he muttered.  
Effy remained silent.

"We'll find somewhere, gotta be some place in this country that has some fucking life, we'll have some fun yeah? You and me love, we'll get plastered, till we can't even walk straight".

Effy shrugged "You're the man with the plan" she muttered.

He chuckled "That I am".

That night, they didn't do a lot. It seemed the small town they were in were not big on festive activities. Much to Cook's absolute horror it seemed they didn't have one club. They had a pub but it seemed they were rather picky about the age of the people they allowed in.  
they remained in their motel room, the drabby curtains rotted and the smell of unwashed sheets filled the air.  
It was all they could afford. Money was starting to run thinner.  
"Sorry, this is all we could get" he muttered.

"Its fine" she said, it had a shower and an actual toilet, it was perfect.

They sat on the bed, the sounds of night surrounding them. But the room was so quiet. It was disturbing almost, in its silence.

Without thinking Cook reached over and grabbed the girl's hand, entwining his fingers with hers, she didn't pull away. She never did. Cook gently caressed her hand, and she let him.  
He didn't know that she waited for that hand to find hers every night.

When his hand found her once again, she felt relief wash through her, she would not have to reach for his hand, it was already wrapped tightly around hers.  
It was strange that in such a short time, she had already grown accustomed to the small things in life, Like Cook holding her hand, when there was nothing but the deafening silence that filled their heads.

The silence however was broken, when an unusual sound was heard through the paper thin walls of the motel. Moaning and groaning and yells and screaming that would put any porno flick to shame.  
Just like that, the tension was broken. Cook turned towards Effy, a small smile spreading out across her face, and it was as though a dam had burst. Hysterical and somewhat maniacal laughter burst from their throats.

The tension was broken; there was no more silence that night. There was laughter... and stories and jokes and most of it was just Cook talking about stuff that Effy couldn't care less about but she still couldn't stop herself from giggling and laughing and it was though a weight had been lifted.

The weight was gone without them even realising it.  
Only, there was still a small tiny little thing niggling at the back of Effy's head. She tried to ignore it, with each passing day; the answer grew more and more obvious. No matter how much she wished it would just disappear.

xxxxx

He guessed he was dreaming at first, when you're on the brink of consciousness and everything feels unreal, nothing has any clarity and it's all just a big blur.  
For the first few seconds, it was always the same. Dream-like state Cook would lay there in bed and he'd hear the noises.  
He'd squeeze his eyes shut sometimes and try to block them out, pretend that it wasn't becoming more and more obvious what was going on with each day. This particular night, or extremely early hours of the morning, he once again tried to ignore the stomach churning sounds but he couldn't.  
Getting off the bed, he slowly walked towards the door to the small bathroom.  
He was almost used to this as weird as it sounded, waking to the sounds of retching. It was always the same.  
The first few days he could put to something she'd eaten, or stomach flu, after over a weak of the same thing, excuses were running thin.

He opened his mouth, about to ask her if she was okay, but decided against it. What could he say..? What could he do?  
He didn't know how to help her right now.  
"Shit" he muttered.  
He felt sick himself now, bile rising in his throat, his shaking legs gave out and he slowly slid to the floor.  
He rested his head on the wall behind him, continuing to listen to the girl be sick in the bathroom.  
Part of him wanted to go in there, rub her back, hold her hair back, and make sure she was okay, so she wasn't alone. The other part of him, the stronger part of him wanted to run out the motel door, leave the bitch there to drown in her own vomit because by god he was terrified. Absolutely terrified because inside, he knew what was going on. He may not be the sharpest tool in the shed as they say but he wasn't _that_ daft.

They had been so stupid...... everything was wrong.

So he did nothing, frozen by his own fear of the unknown as well as the possibility of what the future held, frozen by his desire to leave but not leave, Cook sat there and too began wondering if it was possible for someone to turn inside out.

Xxxx

Drip, drip..... Drip... drip. Effy could hear the dripping of the tap of the shower head, dripping; it was the only sound she heard now in the silent bathroom, besides her own breathing.  
Her stomach had finally stopped jumping up and down like a bouncy castle and she had managed to stop herself from being sick. Her throat was sore and burnt and her skin was hot, but the cold hard feeling of the probably filthy tiled floor cooled her down.  
She had woke up to the same feeling of light heatedness and queasiness. She was surprised that Cook had not even talked to her about it. She supposed that he was either too scared about what it meant or he honestly couldn't care.

Right now, she welcomed the fuzzy blackness that was creeping into her vision.

Xxx

They were on the road again, happy to have left the dull small town behind. They had not talked a lot. Effy had thought that it would have been just like any other day. Cook would talk as he drove, and she would sit there, either totally blank out or she'd listen and say a few words hear and there, just to let him know that she was listening to him.  
But this morning, he was silent. It made her nervous, because as she looked at his face, she could see that there was obviously something he was thinking very deeply about.  
She could almost see the wheels turning in his brain.

Suddenly, the car pulled into the side of the road and Cook turned it off. Effy closed her eyes, taking a deep breath, here it comes.

"You're pregnant aren't you" he said. It was not a question not really, it was a statement, he was simply stating what they both already knew.

She rested the back of her head on the headrest of her seat, a breath escaping her mouth in a short gasp. It was out. It had been spoken.

"Well? You gonna answer me?" his voice held that edge of anger.

Effy remained silent and that was enough.

"Fuck…._fuck_…."

Fuck. Indeed.


End file.
